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Learning New Tricks . . . About Balance!

Effective Listening Skills for Managers

By Kenneth R. Johnson

Often when a misunderstanding occurs on the job, it is attributed to a lack of communication, which most of time implies that whoever was delivering the message did not do an effective job. But what about the other side, the listener? Joe, a senior-level manager in a high-technology company, seemed to possess all the skills one might expect from someone who had achieved his level of management. When someone talked to Joe, he generally gave the impression that he really cared about what was said. He would look squarely into the person's eyes, nod his head, and now and then say, uh-huh. There was only one small problem: Joe was not really listening.

The contrast between hearing and really listening can be as different as night and day. And in a business environment, not listening effectively to customers, employees, and peers can mean the difference between success and failure.

One of the best ways to begin to improve your listening skills is to have a better understanding of some of the most common behaviors you and others demonstrate when not listening effectively. Keep in mind that the following listening blocks should not always be considered bad. In certain situations, they can be effective at helping an individual achieve a particular result. The key to their effectiveness is to be aware of when and why you are using them.

Rehearsing

Your whole attention is on designing and preparing your next comment. You look interested, but your mind is going a mile a minute because you are thinking about what to say next. Some people rehearse whole chains of responses: I'll say, then he'll say, and so on.

Judging

Negatively labeling people can be extremely limiting. If you prejudge somebody as incompetent or uninformed, you don't pay much attention to what that person says. A basic rule of listening is that judgments should only be made after you have heard and evaluated the content of the message.

Identifying

When using this block, you take everything people tell you and refer it back to your own experience. They want to tell you about a toothache, but that reminds you of your oral surgery for receding gums. You launch into your story before they can finish theirs.

Advising

You are the great problem solver. You don't have to hear more than a few sentences before you begin searching for the right advice. However, while you are coming up with suggestions and convincing someone to just try it, you may miss what is most important.

Sparring

This block has you arguing and debating with people who never feel heard because you are so quick to disagree. In fact, your main focus is on finding things to disagree with.

Being Right

Being right means you will go to great lengths (twist the facts, start shouting, make excuses or accusations, call up past sins) to avoid being wrong. You can't listen to criticism, you can't be corrected, and you can't take suggestions to change.

Derailing

This listening block involves suddenly changing the subject. You derail the train of conversation when you get uncomfortable or bored with a topic. Another way of derailing is by joking.

Placating

Right . . . Absolutely . . . I know . . . Of course you are . . . Incredible. . . Really? You want to be nice, pleasant, supportive. You want people to like you. So you agree with everything. You may half-listen just enough to get the drift, but you are not really involved.

Dreaming

When we dream, we pretend to listen but really tune the other person out while we drift about in our interior fantasies. Instead of disciplining ourselves to truly concentrate on the input, we turn the channel to a more entertaining subject.

Like the development of any skill, the first step to improvement is to have a good understanding of what you can do or stop doing in order to get better. The second step is often the most difficult, and that is the requirement that you practice the skill over and over. Listening is no different. Listening effectively to others can be the most fundamental and powerful communication tool of all. When someone is willing to stop talking or thinking and begin truly listening to others, all of their interactions become easier, and communication problems are all but eliminated.

Ken Johnson is a vice president of San Jose-based R. J. Associates, a full-service product design and management training company dedicated to helping emerging firms get their products to market more efficiently and profitably. R. J. Associates can be reached at 408-294-3444