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On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap
Some Sawnson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's Peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

How to Increase Referrals

Most satisfied customers will tell three others about their positive experience. To please your customers--and to increase word-of-mouth advertising:

Be enthusiastic about your business. Your customers will feel your energy and be confident doing business with you. Also: Build a strong reputation for quality service.
Maintain and update a mailing list of all old and current customers. Mail newspaper clippings, a company newsletter, announcements, product information, etc., monthly or at least quarterly.
Focus on how you benefit customers--not on your need for business. If you present yourself competently, they’ll perceive you as competent.
Have an information-request card on all your promotional pieces--including newsletters. Reason: It will make it easier for customers to contact you.
Mail a thank-you note immediately after receiving referrals. Include a gift if possible.
Don’t put down competitors or other customers. People will only wonder when they’ll be the next on your list.
Source: Getting Business to Come to You: Everything You Need to Do Your Own Advertising, Public Relations, Direct Mail, and Sales Promotion, and Attract All the Business You Can Handle, by Paul and Sarah Edwards and Laura Clampitt Douglas, The Putnam Publishing Group, 200 Madison Ave., New York, NY 10016.

What to Ask Your Customers

Here’s a quick quiz you can give to learn how well you satisfy customers. Ask them to rate you on a 1-5 scale, with 5 the highest.

How easy was it to contact us?
How helpful was our advertising?
How courteous and helpful were our employees?
How knowledgeable were our employees about what we offer?
How satisfied are you with our product/service?
Note: Invite customers to add comments on each question if they want to.

Source: Scott Clark, writing in Philadelphia Business Journal, 400 Market St., Ste. 300, Philadelphia, PA 19106.

What Callers Shouldn’t Hear

Avoid these five phrases when speaking to customers over the phone:

"I don’t know." Try: "That’s a good question. Let me check and find out."
"Just a second." Try: "It could take me a few minutes to get that information. Could you hold while I check or should I call you back?"
"No." Try: "I haven’t gotten to that yet."
"We can’t do that." Try: "That’s a tough one. Let me see what I can do."
"You’ll have to..." or "You should..." Try: "Here’s how we can help you."

Source: Telephone Skills from A to Z, by Nancy J. Friedman, Crisp Publications Inc., 1200 Hamilton Court, Menlo Park, CA 94025