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Tips for Winning Arguments

If you're trying to persuade people who disagree with you:

· Define your goal. Do you want to win the argument to clarify an issue, clear the air or just make a point?

· Know who you're up against. What are their attitudes toward the topic - and toward you? What are their strengths and weaknesses? What kind of mood are they in?

· Don't rush into an argument without knowing te facts. Once you fully understand the topic under debate, and can anticipate your challenger's behavior, then you can effectively defend your view. Caution: Don't overload your challenger with too much information. Others you're trying to persuade may be turned off and become sympathetic to your challenger.

· Ask questions to get more information - or to clarify statements. Also: Ask questions that will force your challenger to give answers supporting your point of view. Tip: You can turn points you want to make into a question by putting, "Isn't it true that…" in front of them.

· Keep direct eye contact. Reason: Doing so demonstrates honesty, openness and suggests you have nothing to hide. It will also help elicit the same behavior from your challenger.

· Don't defend or ignore your actions if your challenger calls attention to incorrect statements you've made. Admit your mistake quickly and concisely. Then, move on.

Source: William A. Rusher, cited in Bottom Line Personal, 330 W. 42nd St., 14th Floor, New York, NY 10036.

Easing Frustrations of Change

People feel the most frustration when you force major change upon them without their knowledge or input. To avoid this frustration:

· Build employee feedback into the decision-making process.

· Consider sharing both good and bad financial news with employees.

· Respect contributions, not positions. Good ideas can come from anywhere. Praise the effort, not the employee's pay or prestige level.

· Build trust by sharing your problems, pressures and concerns and admitting mistakes.

· Don't keep "raising the bar." Tell employees how far they have to go before they can relax.

· Go for cooperation, not control. "We're all in this together

· Don't ask people to exceed goals and give them fewer resources to do it with.

· Restructure rewards and sanctions to correspond with the new behavior you expect.

Source: Manager's Legal Bulletin, 70 Hilltop Road, Ramsey, NJ 07446.

Slightly Skewed

Screen Saver: A graphics program that prolongs the life of a screen by using $5,000 worth of computer hardware to simulate a bowl of fish or a dancing Macintosh. Often more conceptually challenging than what you're actually using the computer for.

Source: The Slightly Skewed Computer Dictionary, by Doug Mayer, Prima Publishing, PO Box 1260, Rocklin, CA 95677-1260

"Quotables"

Ten Ways to Be a Leader

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

5. Let the other person save face.

6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.

7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

8. Use encouragement.

9. Make the fault easy to correct.

10. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)

American writer and speaker